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Money Woes

A few years ago my finances were a shambles. Whenever 'Dr. Science' broached the subject of finances my mind used to immediately go fuzzy and I'd start hearing that teacher voice from Charlie Brown cartoons, "wha, wha, wha wha wha, wha". It was always like that for me. No matter how much I made I'd always come up short at the end of the month. When I finally sat down and ran the numbers, something I dreaded, I was confronted with my wayward spending habits - turns out a random coffee date here, and a second grocery run for entertaining on Friday night do add up - . Now before you get all high and mighty, looking down at me from on high, I would like to mention something that I finally learned about the nature of my spending. After a rough, bitch-slap-esk appraisal of every dollar I spent I learned that the majority of the time my money was spent on other people. For example, why buy one coffee when I could buy yours too? Why get a small gift, when I could get a BIG gift? Why have friends over for dinner and serve one fine cheese, when three would surely be better? For me gift giving, big or small, is a way of saying I love you. In return I get that warm and fuzzy feeling from my friends that reeks of "I love you too, Lindsey T H Jackson." For me there is a big import around group, family, and community. My attention naturally goes toward practices that will sustain my social group. For other people it is entirely different. For some their attention naturally goes toward connection with one other person and for some it is on preservation of the self. When it comes to money these tendencies, or subtypes as they are known in the Enneagram, have very different ways of spending. I clearly needed to learn from my self-preservation friends how to save. However my self-preservation friends needed to learn, in my humble opinion, that serving cans of tuna at a party is a no-no. 'Dr. Science's' instinct is toward one-to-one. He can justify spending money on me and the kids but does not understand why every friend I've every met needs a present come Christmas... Do you find yourself fighting about money and getting no where? Are you potentially in a relationship with someone that has a different financial instinct than you? Take some time this weekend to decipher where you like to spend your money. 1) Is it on decorating the house, entertaining, gifts? 2) Is it on anniversaries, children, romantic getaways? 3) Is it on devices, self-care, investments, savings? Compare your answers with your loved one and discuss ways of adjusting your budget to meet everyone's needs.

Are you and your partner ready to transform?

Lindsey T H Jackson is a Life Coach, movement therapist and storyteller. Contact her at for inspiration, list of services and bookings.

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