Step 4: Beginner's Guide Continued

Hey Transformers,

I grew up in the black, baptist church. Along with the familiar smell of wafting perfume seeping out from under the brim of large, bedazzled hats and the sound of Worther's Originals wrappers being loudly crinkled by aging hands, I will always have a strong and lasting connection to the music of my ancestors.

One song in particular stands out in my mind. A song that for me, captures the fourth step on our transformation journey perfectly: I surrender all.

I surrender all I surrender all All to Thee my blessed Saviour I surrender all

But how do we get to surrender? How do we find the courage to accept the positives and negatives of ourselves and of the world without spiraling down into self-loathing, envy of the happiness of others, and/or depression?

Let's review.

First you start at the beginning - release. You release all preconceived notions of what is and what should be. You embrace the world and the self as is. You can't change your past, Dear One. But you can change how it lords over your future.

Second, you stop denying your true feelings and sensations. You affirm how you have denied yourself love and acceptance because you were afraid to be yourself. Stop blaming other people. Now you know, do better.

Third, you step out on courage and remove the mask you've been wearing. Tell anyone who will listen: what you like, what you don't like, what you know, what you don't know. Begin the work of figuring out who you are by being radically authentic with yourself and others.

Once you've started this journey, given yourself whole heart and soul to it, you will feel ready for step four on my Beginner's Guide to Transformation.

Lindsey's Beginner Guide To Transformation

STEP 4: TRANSFORM

At first pass you may think that surrender is only for weaklings who have given up their pride, their self-respect and succumbed to their failures. I mean, we all saw that seen in the movie 300, where the Trojan queen told her husband to come back victorious or dead on his shield. And the weird thing is that we all totally related to it!!!

However on closer inspection (and after much therapy if you are anything like me) you will learn to embrace surrender as a transcendent place few of us ever get to. To surrender is to accept the positives and negatives of life in exchange for equanimity. It is the so-called balance all of us have been seeking.

I surrender all I surrender all All to Thee my blessed Saviour I surrender all

So how do I surrender Lindsey?

Great question.

Well for one, you stop indulging in your version of what is, what happened, what went wrong. I'm here to tell you that no matter how much you beat yourself up, no matter how many people you feel let you down, no matter how unimportant or undesirable you think you are, you are not defined by these feelings. Only the feelings you act on define who you are.

If you are waiting for every thing you think and feel to be good, then you will waste your life away.

Say it with me:

I surrender my feelings of hopelessness and despair.

I surrender my self-sabotaging thoughts and actions.

I surrender to the good that is in my life.

I surrender to the transformation that is taking place even now.

I surrender all.

Stay tuned for next week. STEP 5: PRACTICE

xoxo, Lindsey "We are each a work in progress!"